Mother's Bad Date Guide

She winked. And just like that, Gary the ergonomic-chair salesman became a ghost—a cautionary tale, a footnote, a tiny, ridiculous speed bump on the long, strange road of my mother’s recalibration.

She kissed me goodbye. “If I’m not back by ten, send a search party.” mother's bad date

“He also said,” she continued, “that he once broke up with a woman because she named her cat after a punctuation mark. The cat was named ‘Comma.’” She winked

“Next time,” she said, finishing the last of the pistachio, “I’m bringing you. You can make faces at him from across the table.” She winked. And just like that

“That bad?” I asked.