Jayden Jaymes, Bill Bailey My Dad's Hot Girlfriend < AUTHENTIC ⟶ >

The Unlikely League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

And every Tuesday, Jayden Jaymes, former gladiator, would sit on the porch with his dad and Pam, drinking terrible kale smoothies, tying useless knots in rope, and laughing until his ribs ached. It wasn’t the lifestyle he’d chosen. But for his dad’s happiness, he decided it was the greatest entertainment he’d ever known.

The doorbell chimed not a doorbell chime, but the opening synth riff of “Let’s Get Physical.” Pam swept in, a whirlwind of turquoise leggings, dangling earrings shaped like pineapples, and a clipboard covered in glitter stickers. jayden jaymes, bill bailey my dad's hot girlfriend

Finally came the macrame. This was Bill’s moment. His dad, the man who could fix any leaky pipe, was weeping over a tangle of beige rope. “The gourd goes through the loop, Pam! Not around the loop! It’s not a sweater for a squash!”

“She’s just… full of ideas, son,” Bill had said, his eyes twinkling with a mixture of love and terror. The Unlikely League of Extraordinary Gentlemen And every

Jayden, who had once powerbombed a man named “The Undertaker Jr.” through a flaming table, just blinked. “I… don’t macrame, Pam.”

“You’re resisting your inner peace, Jayden!” Pam chirped, while Bill, trying to film on an iPad, accidentally zoomed in on a squirrel. The doorbell chimed not a doorbell chime, but

“We’ll juice the negativity right out of them!” Pam declared. She turned to Jayden. “And you, my giant, are the star of today’s segment: ‘Gentle Giant Gets Zen.’ We’re doing outdoor yoga, followed by a de-stress smoothie bowl, then a DIY macrame gourd-holder craft.”