Last week, Sarah dropped half an avocado toast. I looked at it. She looked at me. She said, “Five-second rule?” I ate it. No plate. No dignity. Just floor guacamole and a quiet sense of purpose.
The cats are the women. They are elegant, independent, and territorial. They take long baths, leave cryptic sticky notes on the fridge (“Who finished the hummus? 👀”), and can go silent for hours while radiating judgment. I, on the other hand, am the dog. i became the dog in an all female household
I am the dog of this house.
The living room has changed colors four times in six months. There are throw pillows that serve no function. A tapestry of a moon phases chart. A plant named Gerald that gets more texts than I do. When they ask, “What do you think of the new rug?” I say, “It’s nice.” Because the correct answer is always “It’s nice.” My actual opinion— it’s beige, just like the last one —does not matter. I am here to provide warmth and occasional comic relief, not interior design critique. Last week, Sarah dropped half an avocado toast