Hitomissickpleasure -

To miss until the body aches is a kind of fever. But to feel pleasure in that ache, to refuse the cure because the wound is now familiar — that is hitomissickpleasure.

It lives in the space between a text message sent and a reply never coming. In the ritual of touching a jacket they left behind. In the strange joy of replaying the last fight because at least in the memory, they're still there to argue with. hitomissickpleasure

There is a word for when you want someone so badly that even their absence tastes sweet — that bitter-honey sickness of the hitomi (the eye) that looks for a face in every stranger's crowd. To miss until the body aches is a kind of fever