Google Drive 10 Things I Hate About You 🎁

Ah, Google Drive. You hold my life hostage: my tax returns, my half-finished novel, that one blurry meme from 2015, and the only copy of my resume.

You promised 15 GB for free. But you failed to mention that those 15 GB include my Gmail spam folder from 2009 AND every blurry photo my Pixel phone took of the floor. I delete 5,000 emails, and you tell me I’ve freed up 3 MB. Three. I hate you. google drive 10 things i hate about you

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going back to emailing myself ZIP files. But Google Drive? We need to talk. Here are the 10 things I absolutely hate about you. Ah, Google Drive

I toggle "Available Offline" for a critical file before getting on a plane. I land. I open Drive. "No internet connection. Cannot load file." BUT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OFFLINE. That was your one job . Now I’m just staring at a blank screen at 35,000 feet. But you failed to mention that those 15

I spend hours perfecting a resume in Google Docs. I export to PDF to send to a recruiter. I open the PDF. The margins are wrong, a random bullet point is floating in the void, and my name is hyphenated across two lines. You made me look unprofessional in front of a robot, Google.

Despite all this, Google Drive... I can’t quit you. You’re free (mostly). You work across my PC, Mac, phone, and toaster. And frankly, the only thing worse than you is Microsoft OneDrive.